Charity

I struggle with the concept of charity. I am not here to simply hand out money to anyone, personally or professionally. Here or at home. It is not why I have pursued this path and I don’t believe it helps anyone in the long run. It creates dependency and does not foster drive, capacity building, or increase a person’s skills-anything with longevity.

The other day a person that I care about very much asked to borrow some money. He works as the caretaker of my office. I know him to be a hard worker, honest, and kind. It was clear that it wasn’t easy for him to ask this of me. When I asked him why he wanted to borrow the money he said it was for his friend who is sick and neither of them have enough money to buy medicine. Well that just sucks!

I hesitated to give him money only because I did not want to set a precedent and I believe that simply giving money is problematic. BUT I wanted to help him so I sat down and discussed the issue of borrowing and lending (because of the language barrier) so that we could establish a clear agreement although I was fairly certain he would pay it back. After that was determined I asked him how much he needed. The amount he specifically asked for was $6.25US. (I believe this is what he gets paid per day). My god, I would be happy to give him much more. I am sure I have more than that forgotten in my winter coats or at the bottom of several purses.

It was hard to stand by the principle that charity does not help anyone. Rather than getting caught up in emotions as I tend to do, we established a verbal contract for him to pay me back (Sheesh, it just feels ridiculous) so that neither of us lose our integrity in the exchange. I do believe that giving a hand out is not helpful but I know I have been in a position where I just needed a little help. And I’ve gotten it (thanks mom and dad) What about my friend who does not have a mom and dad to help him? Well I am glad to be that person and to be honest, I didn’t care if I got the money back for the sake of the money, I wanted him to care about the importance of paying it back.

The day passed when he had said he would return the money but I didn’t say anything. I wanted to wait and see what happened. Sure enough, a couple days later he came to me and returned the money. How incredible. This may not sound like a big deal reading it but in my opinion it contributed to our relationship becoming stronger. I showed him that I trusted him and wanted to help him and in turn he showed me he would not take advantage of me and appreciated our relationship. Now we have a relationship of mutual exchange. He helps me with my Swahili and I help him with English. My boss generously bought him English lessons and he is taking them very seriously, he does homework everyday and he goes to class every evening. 

Yesterday he asked me if I had any novels so he can work even harder on his English. All this guy needs is opportunity because he has drive and kindness beyond anything I have seen in a long time. So I will not just give away money but I will give him a gift of appreciation for his work he does around the office. So now I know what to get him. Books, books are definitely what he is getting from me.

I am not saving lives and I am not doing anything overly impressive here. It is about capacity building, sustainability, and building relationships. I am not winning nobel peace prizes, I am not having articles written about my achievements, and I certainly have not become the award winning actor I once thought I might be. But this I believe to be true and for that I am proud: