Community

I have a tendency to veer towards hibernating back home. It always seems so much easier to stay home in my comfort zone where I don’t have to worry about how I look or what to say or any uncomfortable moments. By doing this however, I limit myself from so many potential opportunities and experiences. I know this because I can hardly think of a time that I actually went out and regretted it (with the exception of overconsumption of tequila a few years ago- I still can't stand the smell). Sure there is often the person you get stuck talking to that you don’t want to, or you are tired etc. But more times than not, I wind up having a good time and feel more alive. More me. So why do I avoid this so often? I am not sure but I have a new awareness that I need to move past that uncomfortable feeling and get into my community. Our social selves are just as much a part of us as who we are on our own, so why would we not try to experience everything life has to offer. 

Community means something different to everyone. For some it may be their family, others it may be a group of friends they have had since high school, or even a group that met at work. It is the feeling of belonging to something bigger, a shared experience and a camaraderie that I am realising I need more of in my life. I like it. I see how being around others can make me feel more like myself in a strange way. 

The other cool thing is judgement seems to go to the wayside. You become friends with people you may never have back home. The pool in which to pick from is reduced and you automatically have something in common, you are here. Just a little realization that you can find a way to enjoy almost anyone if you get past yourself. There are people that have become dear to me despite the fact that I don’t really know them. I hang out with them and conversation rarely gets deep. But so much of our lives are “deep” around here so it’s nice to just share some laughs over some generic tasting beers (oh, I miss my micro brews back home) People come and go around here often so you don't learn a lot about each other but can still feel friendship, because we know what it is like to ride in a bajaj and wonder if you will get home alive, to walk down the street and pray you aren't mugged, to be an outsider, to be assumed rich based on your skin, to miss home but you chose this so buck up and find a way to cope.

Here in Dar, social life seems to centre around drinking much of the time. Admittedly it is not that healthiest nor is it the way I behave back home. What I do know is that it isn’t ABOUT the drinking but about a group of people being in an environment where they need to feel connected to something outside of themselves. It is a lonely existence being an expat in Dar without a community. Usually we tend to go to westernised environment where we can relax and let our guard down from the dangers and stresses of this city. You need to form social groups. It is a necessity for your sanity. So for me these people have become incredibly important to me even if it is just for a short time and I never see or hear from them again; they are my present. Perhaps that’s why you feel like you are so close so quickly. Like you’ve known someone for years when in fact, it is approximately a month. You have a shared experience, you can relate to each other, and you are there for each other. So today I am grateful for the small community I have formed here and have a greater awareness of how I need to cultivate that back home by getting out of my comfort zone and discovering myself in social communities.

Look at this crazy crew that helps me get through the days.  In their defence, this was the goat races where we were supposed to dress up in costumes. So I am actually the weird one here.