Inspiration

I just finished a meeting with two of my favourite people to work with. Mr. Kilongo and Fred. They are the treasurer and secretary of TaFoGaNet respectively. (TaFoGaNet is a network of farmer groups that have formed to work towards the legitimization process, farmers’ rights, information sharing, and capacity building)

Through text messages yesterday we arrange for them to come to my office for a meeting regarding several issues that affects their Network. They both show up on time at 9am. They do not get paid for their positions. Holy crap they work hard. Fred is a young man who puts countless hours into making TaFoGaNet run, has a wife and two sets of twins, runs and orphanage, has his own farm, is a minister, and has some other company that I lost track of. Mr. Kilongo runs a vocational school, that has a garden, a composting site, works tirelessly for TaFoGaNet, and is the best dressed guy in town. He always looks put together and smells great.

I find myself having to keep my heart in check while working with them. I am a very emotional person and there is seldom a day that goes by that I don't get a little weepy. But I am no good to them if I just feel admiration and get teary eyed. And I know it is absolutely useless to them for me to feel a bit sad because I see the effort they put in and what a struggle it is to get anything back. So instead, I get to work. I challenge them and do my best to build their capacity so that when I am gone they are sailing on their own. In reality I know that I am just a facilitator and they have much more skill and knowledge than I.

Working with these two inspires me and motivates me. An hour long meeting with them today is so satisfying and reminds me why I want to be here. Although some days it feels like I am doing nothing, I know that just as they are building something for the future, I am also contributing to that in my own very small way.


This quote makes me think of them:

A society grows when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in. -Greek Proverb

Opportunity in Change

My apartment was in an ideal place relative to my office. Up until a week ago when the office had to move. For my first 3 months here I had a five minute walk to the office. I said hello to the same woman each morning cooking cassava and the man sewing on his doorstep. It was quite safe because the route is a pothole filled dirt road so no worries of anyone driving by and snatching my bag.

When I found out our office was moving I was a little upset not only because I need to get up an hour earlier. Walking with my laptop for a greater distance is stressful, and transport costs money, something I don't have much of right now.

My amazing boss agreed to pick me up part way. So now I walk for only about 15 minutes then wait at the very busy corner and he picks me up. What originally seemed like a burden and a stress has been so positive. On this walk I now encounter so many more experiences. I still take the same route past the old office and see the old faces and then I carry on past the mchicha farm(amaranth-like a spinach) where I say hello to the women I have worked with through the Tanzanian Food and Garden Network. Next I pitstop in a little field where women are cooking and men are sitting eating. A couple times a week I stop here and buy chapati and get laughed at and appreciated for speaking swahili. It is a whole lot of oil first thing in the morning (or any time of day) and I would never eat it back home, but it gives me chance to be part of something and although I can't really know what these women are thinking, it feels like I have a camaraderie with them because I am embracing a part of their culture, their daily life.

Next I walk along a busy road where I pass many people heading to work and school. Children snicker at me and often say the few English words they have learned "Good morning how are you- I am fine". Many women and men also say their swahili greetings to me as we pass by each other.  I have learned that this walk is quite safe and today my biggest worry was what once was a feeling of security. I walk past the American embassy which takes up about one city block and in light of all the news over the past few days, it is not really a place I want to be close to unfortunately. I really hope everyone is safe and there can be a peaceful resolution soon.

Not only did my boss offer to pick me up at the corner each day, he also negotiated with a Bajaj driver for my ride home. So Leonard, the bajaji, picks me up every afternoon at the office and takes me home. He will stop and wait for me to pick up groceries or go to the bank if I need. And I feel safe with him and we laugh and I truly enjoy it more than the ease of simply getting home in 5 minutes. Leonard is becoming my friend and knowing him is enhancing each day for me. This morning he saw me waiting to get picked up by my boss and he stopped and insisted he drive me free of charge. So what once seemed like a burden, the office moving, is actually a blessing.  I could not have predicted it but I am grateful for the longer day, the longer journey, it is fuller and much more satisfying.

This is Leonard, driving me home. 

Missing

So there are things I miss from back home that I would never have guessed and things that I love about here that I could never have predicted either. Here is a list, some things trivial admittedly.

I miss from there:

wearing shorts (not an option here, or short skirts for that matter)

smelling good

a blowdryer

my skin not looking like a shiny mess.(however, my skin is really happy here, it’s just shiny

green leafy, or even not so leafy vegetables, just something that doesn’t have to be cooked

fast internet

I’m just going to say it, and I don’t want to hear anything about it: tofu.

getting drinking water out of the tap

water pressure

bank machines that actually dispense money

good cheese

wearing boots and high heels (what a strange thing to miss but considering one of my friends calls me "boots" it gives you an idea of my fav footwear)

driving myself where I want when I want

carrying a purse, or bag. There are far too many drive by muggings that it is unsafe to carry a bag. The good thing is you learn to be really minimalistic. Keys, phone, money. Go.

walking from a to b

being in public and not having a single worry. This is huge. Despite the fact that it is relatively safe, there is always the need to watch your back and countless occasions where you are in transport and wonder if you will be taken to the place you have requested. Utterly terrifying for brief moments.

Good Beer. The have good names like "SERENGETI, NDOVU(ELEPHANT), TUSKER, CASTLE ETC" but they don't excite the palette. Nigel, you have ruined me.

My people.


I’ll miss from here:

the Indian Ocean. Incomparable. I can get to a tropical island in less than an hour.

Swahili greetings and culture

People holding my hand for extended periods of time (this is a cultural thing, and I love it. They shake your hand upon greeting you, but then don’t let go for a long time and you just hang out holding hands. They might walk with you holding your hand too. )

Living in an apartment in a Hotel (the guards, the cleaners- because it is nice to have a guard and someone to clean your home and do your laundry, but also, it’s so great to have this friendly mini neighborhood that celebrates your attempt to communicate with them)

Fast friends. The expat life is very transient. There are people coming and going all the time here. You find that you become friends very quickly and although you may only have known someone for 2 weeks it really does feel like 2 years. Often you wind up saying goodbye just as quickly as everyone is always moving on to the next stage of life. That part isn’t so good:(

pizza. It is everywhere and it is one of my favorite foods. So that works out.

Dancing. It is so easy to go out dancing here, not like back home where it is a bit of a scene and there are line ups. Here, you go to a restaurant. You dance. You blow off steam, you are ready for another week in this crazy city.

the sound of the mosque. Sure it pisses me off at 4 in the morning but the rest of the day, I kinda love it.

Bajaj. These are like tuktuks and are my main form of transport. Despite the fact that I fear for my life every day when I get in one, they are Dar to me, and usually I have a fun conversation with the driver.

The weather. I am thin. I am not meant to be in places that are cold. That’s all. I return in December- OH NO!

Sundowners. This is what we call drinks in the evening. I’m not a big drinker back home but who can resist a sundowner or two. On that note, it is 5:30 pm and that is exactly what I am off to do.

Several birds with one stone: My friend Sarah who I feel like I've known for a lifetime, sundowners, the Indian Ocean. 

Culture Break

So here in Tanzania greetings are of utmost importance. Upon seeing someone whether they are your closest friend or you are just being introduced, there is a series of greetings that occur. It goes something like this:

Hello, how is your (morning, day, evening)
How did you wake up / How did you sleep (this takes some getting used to, but how sweet is this!)
How is your home
How is your family
How is your work
Are you peaceful

The appropriate response for all of the above is fine or very good.

Then you can proceed with whatever you may be wanting to talk about. If you just ran into someone and that was a quick hello, then you say a series of goodbyes as well.

I love this cultural characteristic because it is polite and considerate. I feel like it shows that the person you are engaging with is of primary concern and then comes whatever it is you may need to talk about in a meeting or whatever it is you are doing. To ignore this cultural detail would be detrimental to fitting in and likely viewed as disrespectful. 

This process of greetings occurs on the phone as well. On a hilarious note, Tanzanians spend so much time engaging in greetings but conversely when you are on a phone call and the conversation is finished, they do not say goodbye. They just kind of trail off with a mumble or simply hang up. This was so weird to me at first and I was confused and felt it a bit rude. Then of course you need to remind yourself that it is just a cultural difference. Now I have acclimated and do the same. I had a thought yesterday upon ending a conversation with the head of a municipality that I am so used to it that I may do it when I get back home. Sorry in advance friends.

Speaking of phones, here everyone has a mobile. I know this isn't that shocking as it is common everywhere. What is different is that it costs a great deal to make phone calls, costs nothing to receive them, and is very inexpensive to send text messages. 

Because of this a few things are different here. You may find yourself text messaging all day long. With friends but also with, I don't know, mayors. Weird right? Also people do what is called flash calling. They don't have phone credit (or don't want to spend money talking to you)so they call you and hang up so you will call them. If you want to talk to them, you will have to pay. This is completely acceptable here. Oh Tanzania, I think I love you.

Dear Iphone, I miss you. Had I known I would be spending so much time with another, I would not have left you behind. Just look at this guy, he has nothing on you. (Except an alarm clock that is a British Woman who says "it's time to wake up" repeatedly and gets progressively louder. It works.

Charity

I struggle with the concept of charity. I am not here to simply hand out money to anyone, personally or professionally. Here or at home. It is not why I have pursued this path and I don’t believe it helps anyone in the long run. It creates dependency and does not foster drive, capacity building, or increase a person’s skills-anything with longevity.

The other day a person that I care about very much asked to borrow some money. He works as the caretaker of my office. I know him to be a hard worker, honest, and kind. It was clear that it wasn’t easy for him to ask this of me. When I asked him why he wanted to borrow the money he said it was for his friend who is sick and neither of them have enough money to buy medicine. Well that just sucks!

I hesitated to give him money only because I did not want to set a precedent and I believe that simply giving money is problematic. BUT I wanted to help him so I sat down and discussed the issue of borrowing and lending (because of the language barrier) so that we could establish a clear agreement although I was fairly certain he would pay it back. After that was determined I asked him how much he needed. The amount he specifically asked for was $6.25US. (I believe this is what he gets paid per day). My god, I would be happy to give him much more. I am sure I have more than that forgotten in my winter coats or at the bottom of several purses.

It was hard to stand by the principle that charity does not help anyone. Rather than getting caught up in emotions as I tend to do, we established a verbal contract for him to pay me back (Sheesh, it just feels ridiculous) so that neither of us lose our integrity in the exchange. I do believe that giving a hand out is not helpful but I know I have been in a position where I just needed a little help. And I’ve gotten it (thanks mom and dad) What about my friend who does not have a mom and dad to help him? Well I am glad to be that person and to be honest, I didn’t care if I got the money back for the sake of the money, I wanted him to care about the importance of paying it back.

The day passed when he had said he would return the money but I didn’t say anything. I wanted to wait and see what happened. Sure enough, a couple days later he came to me and returned the money. How incredible. This may not sound like a big deal reading it but in my opinion it contributed to our relationship becoming stronger. I showed him that I trusted him and wanted to help him and in turn he showed me he would not take advantage of me and appreciated our relationship. Now we have a relationship of mutual exchange. He helps me with my Swahili and I help him with English. My boss generously bought him English lessons and he is taking them very seriously, he does homework everyday and he goes to class every evening. 

Yesterday he asked me if I had any novels so he can work even harder on his English. All this guy needs is opportunity because he has drive and kindness beyond anything I have seen in a long time. So I will not just give away money but I will give him a gift of appreciation for his work he does around the office. So now I know what to get him. Books, books are definitely what he is getting from me.

I am not saving lives and I am not doing anything overly impressive here. It is about capacity building, sustainability, and building relationships. I am not winning nobel peace prizes, I am not having articles written about my achievements, and I certainly have not become the award winning actor I once thought I might be. But this I believe to be true and for that I am proud: